This has been a really cool year for me! Without knowing the result of what will happen this Friday and Saturday I am already more appreciative of this opportunity than either of my previous 2 Olympic trials or any other milestone in my life up to this point for that matter.
Of course I am walking into it with the anxiety of not knowing how it will all play out but this time I'm confident that no matter the result I will not regret the process to get here.
In 2004 I had nothing to loose. Ignorance truly was bliss. Though I wanted to do well I didn't have the pressure of disappointing if I didn't because there was no baseline. 2008 it was my job. Track is what I chose as a profession and with it came the implied expectation that I do at least as well as the previous time. Feeling extreme pressure to deliver,I pulled it off. Battling my way back from injury and starting to have trouble with fluctuations in my weight I exercised a little discipline, got in the zone managed to get in the best shape of my life.
All the while, life was happening; training, love, death, boys, lessons, home buying, cynicism, investing,family, bitterness, food, injuries, and travel among many other things. One day there were just too many balls to juggle and the result was a flop. I was envious of those who have continued to do well knowing life was also happening to them yet they managed to continue to get the job done.
Now it's 2012 and here I am again. Positive energy flowing, 43 weeks of workouts done, ideal weight met, experience under my belt ..... yet it all feels so different this time around.
I really had to WORK to get here and I am wondering why didn't anyone tell me I wasn't invincible?! Usually you work your way to the top and don't get me wrong I am not saying my previous years were completely effortless but now working harder than ever to recreate a feeling that used to come second nature to me has made me realize how I had been previously taking my talent for granted.
Also, my definition of success in this sport has evolved quite a bit. Though winning is great, it isnt everything. Experience has taught me what it is like not to finish 1st yet leave the track feeling like a winner anyway. The most inspiring example of success not measured by wins or losses would be my training partner Dominique. After a off, she jumped right into training daily despite working crazy hours at her night job.
She no doubt encountered haters and naysayers (myself included), but she has found a way to prove the world wrong. Through her I have learned to have a little faith in the possibilities instead of focusing on the obstacles. You may not 'win' but success is inevitable. Every journey is different, no doubt she is on the road to win at life.
I am so pumped to see everyone compete! I am excited to compete. I love this sport and all the opportunities it has granted me. It is going to be an amazing 2wks of competition.
I'd like to close by thanking my dream team. I have so many who have been committed resources dedicated to seeing me thru to the end win lose or draw. People who volunteer their time to give me the best chance at achieving something we all know I am capable of yet not entitled to. My staff is over worked and under paid but I am sure of their love for me by their actions of daily diligence. So thank you guys and gals no names necessary you know who you are!
Let's go make this team!